there is nothing in this world like the love a father gives to his children. no where else can an individual influence another being like that of a parent/child relationship. being a father of 5 years now, i realize how many mistakes i have made with my son. the mistakes are endless. my selfishness, anger, disappointment, sarcasm, frustration, and absent-ness are just some of the flaws i have displayed to my son. i wish i could start over and show my son the father that he deserves. and he has deserved a better father. he is a good boy. he is a great son. he has outstanding qualities and unbelievable abilities.
i know my son like the back of my hand. he cant pull anything over on me. all of his flaws are the ones that i have given him, so i know what to expect when he is trying to get something or pull something over on dear ol' dad. he has great morals, too. he knows what is good. he know what is bad. he tries to do the right thing even when he is emotional, even though it is so tough for him. isn't it tough for us all?
my creative caleb. he loves to use his hands. whether it is shaping a play doe dino or building a lego submarine, he loves his art. he loves things that he can destroy, just to build them over again. that is why we don't buy him things that aren't supposed to come apart. he will find a way to make it come apart. yet, daddy likes when his son breaks things that aren't supposed to break because it gives him a teaching opportunity on how to fix things. now, my son doesn't have the patience to color from edge to edge, staying within the lines, but he can sit for hours on end with six play doe colors rocking out as many reptiles as his hands can muster.
i remember the time at our townhome, over the period of a week, we built a tractor from a kit. it was a lot of fun, but it required a lot of patience and working with directions, not a strength of my son yet. so, each day we would spend 15 minutes building this wooden tractor. at the end of the week it was finished, and we gave eachother high fives. the next day he played with it in the dirt and never touched it again. but i will always value that time spent with him. in fact, working with others is a strength for my son. he is not a loner, like his father, but rather loves to incorporate a team of individuals to work or play with him. he is much more effective when working with someone, than he is alone. now, he does have a selfish issue, which tends to get in the way of his team working abilities, but i feel time will smooth out his selfishness.
a couple of weeks ago we finished our math book. that was a major milestone as caleb and homework go as well together as dad and homework. but we did it. once again, like the tractor build, we took each day slowly and carefully. we focused on making good numbers, as opposed to backwards numbers, and hitting the top and bottom line with the number. 6, 9, and 15 were our troublespots, but we worked it out. he is a smart boy. and he needs a little more attention, and i intend to give him that. i understand, as he is me, in this regard. he was so excited to finish his math book, though. he was like, "ok daddy, we're all done!" and i said, "yep." little does he know that that was only the kindergarden math book. so, i hope he doesn't have the false expectation that we will be doing all the grades as well.
i love my family. i dont want to have any regrets. more time together means less time apart. there is nothing in this world like a parent/child relationship.
